The Pejoratives

There are plenty of words one might use to describe The Pejoratives, and all of them are rude, inconsiderate, and politically incorrect. The sax player can make his instrument wail all seven of Carlin's words you can't say on TV, and the lead singer has Tourette's. This is a band favored by middle age men who haven't quite forgotten their punk roots even though they're married with children.

Tweeker Muffins

Speed metal meets Martha Stewart in this group. Songs include "Sift then Measure" and Grease my Pan".

Clogmoor(e)

A recent import from Scotland, Clogmoor(e) is reminiscent of the good ol' days of punk rock. Authentic in sound and emotion. They deftly avoid any odvious musical puns and metaphors and delve into a real sound that leaves you feeling alone in the highlands.

Little Balls Upstairs

Four scrappy guys playing thrash metal like robots with bad wiring. High energy performance and unintelligible lyrics. Their second album, Big Balls Downstairs, was a huge seller in Scandinavia, but the band broke up after their lead guitarist fall off a dam. His body was never recovered.

Amorous Moose

You may think they're kidding, but they play like they're serious. From the hit single "Baby, I Love Your Rack" off their breakthrough album, Lovesick, to the non-stop energy of the concept album, Migration, the members of Amorous Moose work hard to hold their own among more anthropocentric rock bands. Recently, they made headlines with three upbeat, intense cuts all hitting the top 40 charts at the same time: "Like Green Moss," "Natural Salt Lick," and "Runnin' through the Taiga."

PhilSpore

Nobody knows what Phil is or how to identify his spore, but the band rocks. Their music runs the gamut from lovely protest a la U2 to angry slack a la Green Day. Great fun for music lovers.

Naked in a Sock

Begun as a tribute band dedicated to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Naked in a Sock quickly discovered that it was really the thrill of being naked in public that drove their sound. As a cover band they are quite good. However, their own original songs are weak and tasteless. Of course, so are their stage shows.

Unmanity

Three androgens in miniskirts and ripped fishnets, Unmanity's atonal arrangments deconstruct modern music at the same time that their minimal costumes strip down stereotypical notions about gender. Both difficult and intriguing to watch, but mostly just difficult to listen to.

Laughing Larry and loquacious Lemmings

Raised by aging beat poets in the back of a VW camper bus, Laughing Larry writes acid pop and marijuana melodies. Fortunately for fans this band relies on music and not a message. Fun tunes and a great stage show make Larry and the Lemmings fun for the whole family. Unfortunately for fans, the latest tour has been cancelled as the tour bus is broken down in a field in the Willamette Valley.

Technoquakers

Good clean living and righteous electronic vibes: Technoquakers will blow your soul.

Ham Powder & Garlic Wafers

Inspired by a recipe from an upscale cooking magazine, they practiced really hard, but they never made it to Battle of the Bands. They never even made it out of their mom's garage.

Interrupting Cow

Sweet dulcet lowing. Hardly. Built around the premise that no one instrument should be more important than any other, nor should anyone person have more lead singing time than any other, Interrupting Cow in usually incoherent, and always irritating. Fortunately that particular brand of sound works well in a mash pit.

Deyolkit

Hard-core angry feminist pop punk featuring such enduring tunes as "Out of My Bush!" and "I Kissed Janet Reno." The band has been around since the early 80s, maintaining a small but dynamic fan base and experiencing a surge in popularity every election year.

Box of Tapioca

Box of Tapioca eliminates the middle man by producing tracks that follow all the conventions of elevator music. Low-key instrumental ditties that blend into nothingness are the hallmark of this ubiquitous, yet forgettable band.

Q*suck

Hearkening back to the early days of punk rock, Q*suck keeps it real by using only purloined instruments, which are destroyed by the band as the finale of every live show and most of their studio albums. Given their method of acquiring guitars and the frequency with which they go through drum kits, fans have learned that scheduled performances hinge on whether or not the band is in jail. Most music shops hire extra security when Q*suck is in town, but none of this alters the band's utter lack of talent or the rabid devotion of their base.

obesecentricity

These guys are huge! The bassist tops out at 400lbs. And he is the little guy. Their music is as big as they are. Concerts are a bit like attending a symphony on LSD. No, that doesn't sound right, is the symphony on LSD or are you? Doesn't matter, it is fun either way. Just don't let these guys stage dive.