Prehensile Hemmerhoid

I do believe this group would rank somewhere below the Sex Pistols in terms of raw talent, but completely lacking in any sense of fun or irony.

Ice Cold Reacharound

I keep saying this blog is retired, but sometimes the events of your daily life are so perfect. Yes, someone got one of these last night, but they just didn't appreciate it at all.

An Infinity of Circlecats

It's a peaceful sort of music, the kind you can listen to for hours, but still feel as if you're sitting in complete silence

Stretching Pasha

You don't want to know. Trust me.

Jonesboro Overpass Exit Number Twelve

Feminist dada absurdity personified. Each band member subverts gender roles by enduring hours of in the makeup chair before the show, an effect that leaves the audience confused as to the sex and actual identity of each of them. Entire songs sometimes consist of free-form stream-of-conscious poetry readings layered over very involved bass guitar riffs or group chanting to a blinding chorus of fifty tambourines shaking simultaneously. Songs rarely make coherent sense in any literal construct, but when the whole point is to be deliberately challenging in order to represent the complexities of the gender binary, that's kind of the point.

Clever Bruse

Who says punk is dead? I see 12-year-old with mohawks, red plaid pants, and skull-and-crossbones T-shirts whenever I go to the mall.

The Solar Powered Chainsaw Wielding Monkey Band

We're back.

Real Band Names

In the absence of recent updates, please accept this amusing chart:



(Click through for larger view)

Muppet Leather

The soft, fuzzy, synthetic side of hard core.

Wrectal

An infinite series of destruction, each part of which has the same scatological character as the whole.

Happy Kids Puppets

Delightfully hardcore, with triangles and facepaint.

Belching Urethra Aside

It's a medical thing.

The Devil's Colostrum

Yummy!

Nom Nom Vajayjay

Post-feminist hard core. Dykes on guitar. Dykes on bass. Dykes on drums. Dykes on vocals.